Can't-onese

I'm embarrassed to admit it, but I'm not making much effort to learn the language of my current homeland, and this is why: Cantonese is a tonal language that can make even the most dedicated linguist cry, and a simple word like "hai," depending on the intonation, can mean something as innocuous as "yes" or as vulgar as a slang word for "vagina." And I know that I'd answer every question with the wrong intonation.

"Ni sik ng sik guangdong wa?" Pussy!

The only similar example I can think of offhand in Portuguese, the language I've been studying for the past two years, is "pão." Said with a nasal intonation, which can be difficult for an English speaker to master, it means "bread." Said with a flat tone ("pau"), it literally means wood but it's also used as a slang word for "dick." When I first moved to São Paulo, I made myself very popular by committing the cardinal sin of asking for dick at the local bakery (Benjamin Abrahão, how I miss you), and until I conquered the correct pronunciation, I pointed at what I wanted. Você quer pão? Pussy!